The Lion Moos When It Is Angry

A woman at an association I work with shared with me a delightful little book printed here in Morocco. Her sister is using it to study English. Translated, the pocket-sized paperback is entitled Learning the English Language, copyright 2008/1429, by alouma@menara.xx. ½ Arabic-English dictionary and ½ useful phrases, it amused me. I’ve quoted some excerpts to share with you (spelling and punctuation intentional):

-“Books are very interesting and contain a lot of knoledge.”
-“Look at that blind, he tries to know the way by his stick.”
-“Can I found large shirts according to my size”
-“Kangaroo moves especially by jumping”
-[See title of this blog]
-“There are machines to wash dishes instead of women.”
-“People need to eat meat because it contains proteins.”
-“Christians unfortunately believe by mistake that Jesus is the God child.”
-“Work law forbids to hire immature children.”
-“Glue is useful for students at school and the shoe repairer too”
-“This voice from the control device is due to the ironic keys in the bag.”
-“I benefit from my bank accout by repetitive bank loans”
-“I hear strange voices at night.”
-“Recently, young clothes become very tight.”
-“I don’t know why the blood is running without stopping.”
-“My fathers-in-law are all still alive.”
-“Acids have an acid taste”
-“In each year, there are three handered and sixtee five days and a quarter of a day.”
-“The tongue pronounces easily all languages”
-“It’s wonderful to go to amuse ourself in the nearest forest.”
-“Muslim, jew and Christian can live together in mutual peace.”

To be fair, my organization compiled a useful guide to Darija in order for me to promote technical assistance and cultural exchange. Here are some direct quotations of what I “studied:”

-“The mouse is scared of the cat.”
-“Hassan is singing in the shower.”-
“She doesn’t like beer.”
-“But this is not the place for bicycles.”
-“Police! Okay, may God help you.”
-“I’m just a normal citizen from America. My job is to help people in Morocco. That’s all I know.”

These quotations in no way reflect my point of view, or that of PC or the U.S. government. I know my tongue does NOT easily pronounce all languages, and what the hell is a normal citizen from America like??? I’m a fan of mutual peace though. In 2010, I hope not to hear any lions mooing.

Ashnu katdiri? (“What do you do?”)

I’ve been living in B-town for a month or so, and no, I haven’t met all 40,000 townspeople yet. Most people in my neighborhood, my chocolate-fix guy, the students I teach English to, the girls who meet to sew together every afternoon, the traditional handicrafts center “staff,” my clothing store friend and her family circle, and a few random other people know me. A lot of kids know my American and Moroccan names, which they love to shout repeatedly as soon as I walk past them. Some kids are confused and think my name is “Chinois” (bad joke). But how well do they, including my host family, know me?

I’m unmarried (and almost pass the market’s desirable marriage age), speak the local language as well as the unborn babies I don’t have (but should have by my age), offend people by not eating enough (and I can wolf a Chipotle burrito easily), dress like a pre-teen boy or girl, and can’t name 5 Tony Braxton/Celine Dion/Bryan Adams songs. I may or may not be Chinese, but I have a pretty face and pretty hair. One day, my hair will be long and then I will be prettier. I’m unfortunate because my family is not with me and so I’m all alone. Fortunately, I speak English and will go back to America, if anyone wants a free visa. This all makes people either avoid me like H1N1 or gravitate towards me. I wish that this wasn’t the first impression most B-townians have of me, but most give me a 2nd chance and ask, what do I do here in B-town?.

Such a complicated little question. Technically, I work with an American organization that sends volunteers abroad for cultural exchange and to provide technical assistance. On paper, I’ve been assigned to collaborate as a small business development agent with the Ministry of Artisanat and Tourism: I’m to focus on the traditional handicrafts sector. With this ministry’s handicrafts center and a local development association, I’ve sat and sat and understood only bits of the conversations. I assume they must not sit when I’m not there. The volunteer before me introduced me to the girls she taught introductory screen-printing classes to, and I sat with them as well. I’ve met other people interested in starting a business making/selling handicrafts, and they want to consult with me. I helped plan a vigil for climate change awareness. I introduced American card games to kids. I help students with their English and French homework, and I teach English at another association (BUT I don’t want to be known as “the English teacher”). I can’t make a proper Moroccan tea, but my host family likes my delicious “American-esque” meals. I sit in hanuts, sometimes acting like a sales assistant. I spent a week in bed sick. Four times a week, I watch a Mexican soap opera translated into the local language to “study.” I carry my notebook everywhere else. I go on walks with no destination, just to see a new part of town (my host sister cannot fathom why I’d do so). So what do I do?

3llaHsab means “it depends.” My answer to the 2nd question changes depending on so many factors: how patient is the person, how well do I know him/her, what kind of vibe I get, where am I, what time is it, how hungry am I, what’s the question’s motive, what was I in the process of…Even friends and family back home ask me what am I doing here. I’m sorry whatever answer I give never fully encompasses what I do. Even this blog—if a photo’s worth a thousand words, my blog’s really worth a million unwritten words (does that even make sense?). I’m busy doing, and I’m enjoying it. Or I don’t, and I do something else.

MaM #2

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Name: Mmi Fatima Harti

Age: 78 (Born in 1931!)

Weekly Activities: Makes pasta from scratch for homemade soup, Watches a Mexican soap opera on full volume, Afternoon naps, Wears at least two head scarves all the time (covers her orange hair), Makes sure her grandson is always well-fed and happy, Visits other family homes in the neighborhood.

Family: Her husband is deceased, and she has one remaining brother, who has two wives. She has six daughters and one son, who all have children as well. She has one great-granddaughter (so far).

Interesting Facts: Can butcher a sheep while wearing gold sandals, Weaves rugs and blankets, Cooks a whole meal while sitting on the floor, Has a tattoo on her chin that represents her family’s tribe, Has daughters living in New York and France, Carries a pink and black purse with metal straps, Ties her house keys to a string belt she wears around her waist (under two layers of garments).

Be Careful with Her: She may steal the olives in your portion of the meal, I’ve never seen her use soap, She could be in a bread-eating competition, Loudest snorer I’ve met.

As with the last MaM, if you have any questions for Mmi Fatima, please feel free to email them to me.