My tutor/friend told me this week that I'm the hardest-working PCV that he's ever met. He used to work at a school in the south of Morocco, where he befriended many PCVs, and he helped his best friend research a thesis on PC's impact in Morocco. Whether or not his comment is true (I doubt it is), I am working a whole lot more in ROC than in RIM. Does that also correspond to having more of a positive, sustainable impact? Who knows. Sometimes I wonder why the PC organization continues to run today; other times, I wish everyone could experience it.
The concept of "work" is hazy. Business is so personal here. It seems that knowing how to make delicious couscous offers one more esteem than having a college degree. Sitting and eating the couscous is more important than arriving at my project's class on time. Keeping up appearances (both idiomatically and literally), trying to communicate, and household chores are necessary, and I do them so inefficiently (by my Western standards).
Going to souk is at least a three-hour affair, and it involves greeting friends/work partners/hanai family, shopping for my weekly groceries, and picking up used clothes bargains (a great way to build relationships with the ladies in town). How much of going to souk is a personal errand and how much of it is considered work? All the people who call me "Chinouiya" or "Gazella" and the men who follow me, is the harassment from them worth it? NOTE: by PC and Morocco standards, name calling, verbal abuse, and any cruel action done by kids aren't a big deal. Thus, I shouldn't get angry but just ignore it. Instead, I sometimes ignore this strategy (sometimes to my own detriment).
Not sure of the purpose of this blog entry. I know that I'm out of my house almost all day (when not dealing with craft fair SPA grants...which is finally finished); at night, I dream of my work projects. It's pathetic that 90% or 95% of my emails come from PC, PCVs, or RPCVs. I'm frustrated that God did not will me to have a sitemate, my Spain trip fell through, UH is getting its butt kicked by Boise State, and my Darija is not where I want it to be. I guess this is a mellow vent. Perhaps influenced by my surroundings, I've learned to accept these causes of frustration as something beyond my control (even though another part of me says I'm copping out). On resume-paper, I bet my PC experiences look good. Yet, I'm still unfulfilled.
I guess I need to work harder or I need a break. If you repeat any word enough, it starts sounding strange. I guess it's better not to analyze so much. Back to work, or life. Simplicity can be complex.
(A small sample of their work-in-progress. This collage was created for my personal notes, not as an advertisement. I'm just too excited to wait to share their stuff with my biggest fan, my mom!)
