One of my closest friend's cousin, 36-year old Rachid, died last night in his bathroom. How? According to the local expression, he was "swimming" in leaked gas from his buta (a metal canister of gas that all households use to cook and heat water with). Post-shower, as he was putting on his clothes, he passed out and never woke up. He has left behind a young wife, a little boy, and a little girl. Ajarakumallah.

My friend, of course, went to his house to console the family. In fact, everyone from her household--except the little 6-year old--went with her. When I knocked on their door this morning, I felt like something eerie happened. The usually bustling house was dead silent. The neighbors told me about Rachid, and the little boy eventually greeted me at the door. Instead of going to Rachid's house with the neighbors, I said I would wait at my friend's house for the sister to return.

Today wasn't the first time I found the 6-year old home alone, but I still feel uncomfortable with it. To keep himself occupied, he finds snacks in the kitchen, throws the rooftop chicken around, pretends to be Jackie Chan, rummages through Fatiha's sewing work, and puts everything in his mouth. I remember living with a host family in RIM, and my house felt like Never Never Land: adults were a rarity.

I wonder about the concept of role models here. For a culture where family is so tight, how can adults leave children unattended? At least this boy was in a house and told not to open the door (although he did open it for me). Do children act out more to get more attention?

So many random thoughts. I'd like to end this post with an excerpt from a gchat conversation with another PCV:
Peggy: i kind of enjoy making useless things
me: i enjoy searching for useless things
Peggy: if we could find ppl who enjoy collecting useless things we'd have a business

Any takers? :)

Things that Didn't Make Me Happy Today

-My neighbor's 5am banging on the door to be let in (he does it every night).

-2am drunk guy (?) trying to open my roof door.

-Little boys (who I actually adore) found a dead bird (neck broken) and asked if us Chinese people like to eat dead birds. Then, they started singing that Chinese people eat dirty things.

-Local high school teacher told me he was surprised a lot of high school girls and boys drink, have sex, and smoke (things society condones and brushes under the table) in B-town. B-town's not a big city (like Casa or Rabat) where most kids do experiment. Although, he said it's okay for boys to do those things, it is unforgivable for the girls. The girls in the head scarves who participate in class also may be the ones "hanging out" like the boys.

-I enjoyed learning "bad words" from a six-year old, ten-year old, and nineteen-year old. Then I realized those kids probably shouldn't know the things they were teaching me.

-Multiple men and boys who followed me, whispering indecent words, until I yelled at them.

-Having to yell at people to leave me alone.

-The little boy who sat on my doorstep, told me this was his house, and refused to leave. I grabbed his arm and asked where his mom was. Once the kid started crying, my neighbor actually intervened and said the kid doesn't know any better. So many kids lie then cry to get their way.

-Group of men who decided to hold a meeting on my doorstep at 9:15pm.

-Today is day 3 of small town protests.

-Not being in perfect health. Having to walk slower than a snail otherwise I couldn't breathe.

-Almost everyone I talked to in town also is sick.

-Boys on bicycles who like to play chicken with me.

Thank Allah for vino, brownies, chats with friendly PC staff/friends/hanut owners, and taco seasoning.

Things that Made Me Happy Today

-Weekend phone calls with mom

-Fennel mac & cheese with Aunty M's dill

-Kids (in the artisan families I'm close to) running up to give me the biggest hugs and kisses, and 6 year old boys not afraid to hold my hand in public

-Confiscating the playing cards belonging to the brats in the neighborhood and them apologizing instead of retaliating

-Finishing 'Tis, by Frank McCourt

-Knowing my hot chocolate provides me with as much calcium as in milk

-Creating a goals/action plan poster that should last until COS (I come home in November!)

-Walking by a peaceful protest (inspired by North African/Middle East events, unemployed men and women gathered together "downtown") without any harm done to me

-Not hearing "chinouiya" once

-Pink fingerless gloves

-Sunny day and warmer weather

-Having a R&R day (doctor's orders) for the first time in awhile

-Chatting with my best high school and college friends on gmail

-Knowing I'll fulfill my pizza craving in Rabat next week, no inshallahs added!

Egypt

As you may or may not have known, I left Morocco in January for the first time since September 2009 to visit my friend in Egypt and travel all around the country. Or so I thought. Great timing, if you enjoy being in the midst of protests and a government upheaval. Now that I'm back in B-town, I'm amazed how spectacular, emotional, and intense my travel experiences seemed at the time. This blog entry and my +500 photos on Snapfish can't do justice to the amazing things I saw and experienced in Egypt and Istanbul (yeah, the Istanbul trip was a surprise to me too). Now, warm welcomes, overdue reports, and mandatory visits/guests are making me trivialize everything I felt from the moment I checked in at Casablanca airport. Regardless, I owe everyone who cared about me during this time some form of news...so please read on.

I felt a lot of ups and downs during the three weeks. I cried at the Casablanca airport when I bumped into Mauritanians heading to Nouakchott and tried to talk to them in Hassaniya. What started as a friendly conversation turned into let's-get-away-from-the-unstable-girl-who-started-bawling-as-conversation-went-on. Transportation problems and scams plagued my whole trip. My canceled flights to and from Cairo, paying bribes to taxi/train workers and tour guides, and fending off offers for camel/horse/feluca rides were more than annoying at the time. One night in Suez, I teared up thinking that this would be the end of me, even if I gave away my gold ring and finger it was on. Everyone in town was riled up and furious with the American-backed president, high food prices, and gang street violence. Yet, I made it out safely (post-bribing drivers, post-many roadblocks, and post-sleeping next to a tank) and got to spend time with an old PC friend and see some pretty amazing sites before the protests and curfew started. Thankfully, even while waiting at the airport for my evacuation flight (God bless being an American), we were able to joke around and have fun. Now that Mubarak stepped down, I wonder if the country will regain stability and I'll be able to return this year. I definitely want to.

In less than a week, I saw the remains of pyramids and temples over 4000 years old, toured parts of Islamic Cairo and Khan, walked over ancient sites in Luxor, feluca-ed in Aswan, joined a tour group to Abu Simbel, ate my heart out in Hurghada, almost spent a night on the streets of Suez, experienced house arrest/forced chill-out time in Zagazig, and perhaps walked a thousand miles (slight exaggeration). Seeing my first mummy made my heart race, hieroglyphics in color made my heart skip a beat, and trying to climb the mountain at the Valley of the Kings literally took my breath away. I had to sit and wait for my friends to scale to the top and come back. I hated my once-athletic body for being out of shape, I hated being branded as a rich/privileged foreigner, I hated that my Darija and vagina made me nonsensical, and I hated recognizing that these things were true in Egypt. Not to sound like a self-centered, corny downer, I want these realizations to force me to change things I don't like about myself and, at the same time, just enjoy whatever path life throws me.

On a submarine ride in the Red Sea, I unexpectedly saw a sunken seahorse across the aisle. In hindsight, I liken noticing that site to this trip to Egypt and my stopover in Istanbul. Most things didn't turn out as I expected, but I enjoyed myself tremendously and expanded my mind. Yah, I glossed over the trip details....If you're interested in hearing more, we can go over my photos and stories in person in AMERICA this winter. Just treat this poor volunteer to a pizza and red wine first :)